Part 1 of the Hobby Series: Falling Victim to Becoming "Just a Doctor"
As a medical student on my surgery rotation, which was also my very first rotation, I remember an attending advising us not to become two-dimensional. He discouraged us from becoming "just a doctor." I found this advice ironic when he would keep us in 3 hour meetings, make us do 24 hour shifts on the weekends (what kind of learning can a student do after being awake for 18 hours let alone 24?), and jabber on about his accomplishments as a surgeon. Regardless of the irony, I should've heeded his warning.
Truthfully between when I started third year rotations in medical school and graduated from residency, I definitely lost my hobbies along the way. During training, my favorite things to do were to sleep, eat, and watch television. I consumed Law and Order: SVU like I myself was studying to become a detective. I forced myself to exercise sometimes but I didn't really enjoy it much. The things I enjoyed doing most were things that allowed me to be lying down.
When I finished my medical training, I took about 6 weeks off before I started my attending job and now as an attending, I work every other week. It's great and I love it, but it's also forced me to do a lot of self-reflection. I traveled for part of my time off and then once I started my job, I would spend every other week lying around and not doing much of anything. It was nice while I was still recovering from the exhaustion of medical training but eventually it hit me - I had no concept of what I enjoyed anymore.
I found myself scrolling TikTok and Instagram Reels endlessly for hours and realized I was spending more time on other people's lives than my own. I started googling lists of hobbies. If I saw one more person advise me to take up knitting I was going to lose my mind. I tried calligraphy and didn't have the patience for it. I tried adult coloring books but it was so tedious I got bored in five minutes flat. I thought maybe I should make a medical Instagram but I didn't like posing or styling photographs enough to enjoy it.
Since the lists on google weren't helping me, I reflected on the things I enjoyed doing before I became "just a doctor." In the beginning of medical school, I would go to hot yoga on a regular basis, do workout videos, and go for runs. During college, I participated in a lot of theater and dance. And even before that, I enjoyed reading and writing. I still have several novels I attempted to write as a teenager. I can't imagine they're very well-written but I could come up with a hundred story ideas a day. I even played the guitar and wrote songs. All of my creativity had been squashed and replaced with medical jargon, anxiety, and the compulsive need to put everyone in the world ahead of myself. I decided it was time to start trying out these hobbies again and finding what made me who I am.
If there's ever an in-flight emergency, flight attendants will tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. It's the same way in life. If you're not providing yourself with things that rejuvenate you, you will only be able to provide for others for so long before you are unable to function any longer. The things that bring you joy outside of work are some of the most important things you will do for yourself. The sooner you find them, the better you will be able to care for yourself.
Come back for parts 2 and 3 of the hobby series where I will discuss how I rediscovered and reconstructed my hobbies and how you can do the same.
Did you lose your hobbies during your training as well? Do you have good tips on how to stay true to yourself outside of work? Do you have a unique hobby you think others should explore? Sound off in the comments below!